By Rev. Mark H. Creech
December 15, 2003

(AgapePress) - Just about everyone has seen the holiday classic It's a Wonderful Life. Beloved actor Jimmy Stewart stars as the main character, George Bailey, who suffers a number of significant loses during Christmas and considers suicide.

The movie recently sparked an idea in me to address the issue of suicide during the holiday season. I was following the common line of thinking that suicides occur more during this time of the year than any other. But what I discovered was surprising: the belief that the suicide rate is elevated during Christmas is a myth. In fact, experts say most suicides occur in the Spring. December is actually the lowest month for suicide. Nevertheless, the prevalence of depression and the development of "suicidal thoughts" are greater at this time of year.

None of us likes to think about suicide. Someone has said there are two "S-words" in the English language that should never be repeated -- one bespeaks profanity and the other is "suicide." Choosing not to talk about the issue, however, is no way to deal with it.

Suicide is a lonely way out with no way back; a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Nevertheless, according to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, more people die of suicide than homicide. Suicide is the 11th-leading cause of death for all Americans, and is the third-leading cause of death for young people between the ages of 15-24. It's also a profoundly selfish act (though not perceived that way by the suicidal person) that inflicts incredible grief and guilt on friends and family members who are left behind.

A large portion of suicide attempts fail. In 2000, more than 264,000 persons were treated for nonfatal self-inflicted injuries in hospital Emergency Rooms. Most of the injuries were either poisonings or lacerations; at least 60% were probable suicide attempts. Why did these people attempt to end their lives? Not because they really wanted to die, but principally because they saw no alternative to stopping the hurt. They decided the fear of facing death was less than the fear of facing another day in their pain.

Despite these facts, doctors at the Minirth Meier New Life Clinics say that suicide is "a tragedy beyond comprehension, primarily because it is so unnecessary. Depression is treatable. However painful life feels now, it can be made good again .... In most cases, it only takes two months of therapy for people who were formerly suicidal to reach a point where they are absolutely amazed that they ever considered suicide."

Suicide is a sin. It's a violation of the Sixth Commandment: "Thou shalt not commit murder." This command isn't invalidated because the victim is oneself. In every case suicide is mentioned in the Scriptures -- Abimelech, Samson, Saul, Saul's armor bearer, Ahithophel, Zimri, and Judas Iscariot -- it‘s clearly in a context that shows it is outside of God's will.

Some believe suicide is an unpardonable sin and that those who commit it can never enter heaven. God alone knows the state of a person's heart. The person who has trusted Christ as Savior and Lord but who experiences severe emotional problems, mental illness, or other severe stresses that lead to suicide does not abrogate his or her faith by abrogating his or her life. No lone sin, even the act of suicide, can result in eternal damnation. Only the act of rejecting Christ can doom a person to an eternity without God. Still, something that should cause great pause for any individual considering suicide is the thought of entering the literal and eternal presence of Almighty God without an invitation.

Christmas is a beautiful time -- a time of bright red poinsettias, shiny lights and baubles dangling from an evergreen, packages wrapped in colored papers. It's a time of song and cheer. It's supposed to be "the happiest time of the year." But we need to understand many people are not happy during the yuletide season -- they are depressed -- and that depression can be exacerbated by the stresses of the holidays and linked to suicide. Let me offer a few suggestions for those who may be suffering from holiday depression and contemplating the taking of their own life:

1. Count Your Blessings. Rather than dwell on everything that's gone wrong in life, think of the hundreds of ways you've been blessed. You may not feel blessed at all right now, but you need to focus on the whole truth about your life, not just the painful parts. A great hymn of yesteryear puts it this way: When upon life's billows you are tempest tossed / When you are discouraged thinking all is lost / Count your many blessings, name them one by one / And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.
2. Do Something for Others. Get your attention off yourself by helping others in need. Volunteer to help in a homeless shelter. Deliver a hot meal to an elderly shut-in. Help provide Christmas for some single mom's kids. You'll be amazed at how all that angst disappears, when you realize your troubles are not the focus of the universe.
3. Allow Yourself to Feel. It's a fairy tale to think you're always supposed to be super-cheerful during the holidays. You may have experienced a death in your family and feel grief and loneliness. Maybe you're experiencing an "empty nest" for the first time. Maybe you have a loved one in the military that's in harm's way and won't be home for Christmas. Maybe this time of year reminds you of some injustice you've endured. Maybe you lost your job recently. Experiencing a wide-variety of emotions during the Christmas season is completely natural. It's all right to allow yourself to feel. Just don't linger on the negative feelings for too long. You'll have to make a conscious effort to get your mind onto something else.
4. Don't Have Unrealistic Expectations. No Christmas is perfect, not even the ones you remember in the "good ol' days." Don't simply live in the past. Celebrate the present and rejoice in the changes that are a normal part of life's journey. Don't try to control everything. No family is perfect -- all have their flaws. Accept family members and friends for who and where they are in life. Be realistic, recognizing that every Christmas is not going to be a Norman Rockwell picture.
5. Focus on the True Meaning of Christmas. Christmas is not about giving Madison Avenue gifts. It's not even about family. It's about God's wonderful love demonstrated in the giving of His Son for our redemption from sin. God wants us to have a personal relationship with Him through Christ. Christmas is really about how Christ can be born in us so that we can genuinely experience, "peace on earth, goodwill toward men."
6. Seek God Through Prayer. It may feel like God is far removed, but He is always there. If you have never prayed and asked Christ to forgive your sins and take over in your life, ask Him right now. Ask Him for a reason to live. Ask Him to help you see the value and preciousness of your one and only irreplaceable life. Put your hand on your chest and feel your beating heart. Thank God for the life in your bosom and ask Him to make it count for eternity.

Lastly, if holiday depression or suicidal thoughts persist for you or someone you love, then perhaps professional help should be sought. It could be that a chemical imbalance is at the root of the depression and medication is needed. Or it could be Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), a physical condition in which the lack of sunlight negatively affects a person's mood. Whatever, don't suffer in silence!!! Seek help!!!

We all have the choice, as Hamlet said, "to be or not to be." For most people the holiday blues will pass, just as the Winter gives way to Spring. But for others, depression and the thought of ending one's life can be pervasive. God's call to each of us is clear: He wants us "to be." No matter how bleak the situation, there is always hope because there is always God. God will never leave us or forsake us. His promises of help are always sure. He gives the grace to piece together this puzzle called life.