By Jim Brown
December 31, 2002

(AgapePress) - Two Christian parenting experts say they wish they had not dated, but instead been "prepared in courtship."

In their new book Miracle Parenting, Phil and Cynthia Phillips include parent and family training curriculum from a biblical perspective. In one training session called "Guarding the Gate," the Phillipses encourage Christians to avoid dating, but instead "prepare in courtship."

They contend that one of the eight "destiny controllers" in life is early teen dating -- and that by dating, teenagers are setting themselves up for divorce. Phil Phillips says a series of short-term relationships that end poorly can have a negative effect on young teens.

"We determined from the beginning of writing this book that we were not going to pull any punches," Phillips says, "that we were going to put it out there exactly as we saw it -- and we did the issue of dating with fear and trepidation. But we're receiving a tremendous response from people in churches who are realizing that this is a very dangerous thing, particularly among Christian teenagers."

Phillips says dating was not even a concept practiced in early America until the invention of the automobile. And with that invention, he says, came a new-found freedom that so concerned Henry Ford, he had the backseat of the original Model T narrowed by eight inches because he did not want anything else but riding taking place in the car.

"What our children are doing by dating is rehearsing [and preparing] for divorce," Phillps says. "A series of short-term relationships ended in very poor ways with no strong commitment sets the stage for our children to really experience some negative things in life."

Phillips says if many people had the courage to look back on their own dating experiences, they would find there was very little positive to draw from those experiences.

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