By Rev. Mark H. Creech
July 28, 2003

(AgapePress) - Divorce has reached epidemic proportions in America. At the beginning of the twentieth century, there were only three divorces for every 1000 marriages. In 1996, the divorce rate among married women was 19.5, which is more than double the divorce rate of 9.2 in 1960. Today more than half of all marriages are likely to end in divorce.

This sad reality gets worse in light of a major 1999 study by Barna Research that revealed professing Christians had at least moderately higher divorce rates than the general population: 27% of those describing themselves as "born-again Christians" either had been or were currently divorced, compared to 29% of the general population.

Certainly there were methodological problems with the study. The survey didn't say whether the term "born-again Christian" was defined as Christ taught it or as our culture understands it. It didn't say whether the persons surveyed were Christians at the time of the divorce or whether they became Christians after their divorce. Moreover, it didn't say whether one or both persons in the marriage were "born-again Christians" when they divorced.

A common excuse given for divorce is incompatibility. Marriage is the bonding of man and woman on the deepest levels of life; and compatibility is vital for the union to succeed. But often the sense of incompatibility felt in marriage is at its root spiritual incompatibility.

There are very few things more clear in Scripture than the teaching that a believer should not marry an unbeliever. But despite the clarity of God's Word and the evidence from actual experience that such marriages involve extreme risk, marriages between Christians and non-Christians occur today with greater frequency than ever. The results of this careless approach to marriage is catastrophic for the institution: marriages between couples of differing faiths have a 75% failure rate -- three out of four end in divorce.

Marriage is presented in the Scriptures as a divine object lesson -- it's a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church. A mixed marriage of a believer to an unbeliever, however, corrupts this spiritual lesson. Christ's union with the Church is perfect, flawless, and permanent. A marriage between two believers can picture this unity, with the potential for complete spiritual, emotional, and physical unity. But a marriage between a believer and an unbeliever cannot possibly illustrate such wonderful accord and is not likely to survive.

In the Law of Moses, the children of Israel were forbidden to yoke the donkey and the ox together because they were different in size, strength and temperament. It was not only unfitting, but also could be injurious to both beasts. No doubt this is what the apostle Paul referred to when he commanded believers: "Be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers" (2 Cor. 6:14).

For a believer to be yoked in marriage to an unbeliever is cruel. By definition alone, Christians and non-Christians are pulling in different directions. Marriage between the two is not only a poor working relationship, but inevitably becomes a source of anguish for both partners.

Dr. George Sweeting, Chancellor Emeritus of Moody Bible Institute writes: "Soft words and mellow phrases are often used to make it sound better, but the truth is that people who do not think the same on vital spiritual issues have no business getting married! They cannot be together for long without both becoming unhappy."

Now I don't mean to say that Christians already married to non-Christians should walk away from their marriages. In fact, persons who find themselves in this dilemma should yield their lives more completely to Christ, determine to love their mate, and pray regularly for their loved one's conversion.

Christian singles seeking a life partner should deal with the question of marrying an unbeliever long before becoming involved with one. And it would be good to purpose, as many devout believers have, not to date someone who is not a Christian. Make sure the life partner chosen is a believer who genuinely wants the will of God.

Today Christians are legitimately concerned with threats to the sanctity of marriage launched by homosexual activists who seek to change its definition. These threats are real and should be vigorously opposed. But I suggest when Christians tolerate anything less than the holy ideal God ordained for marriage, we do our own redefining of the sacred institution.