In today’s politically correct climate, the biblical perspective on homosexuality is often drowned out by the voices of activists, the media, and members of the entertainment, medical and psychiatric professions. These are groups that have largely bought into the myths that people are born gay and sexual orientation cannot be changed. Meanwhile, evangelical Christians who counter these falsehoods with biblical truth are often dismissed as narrow-minded and uninformed.

But even as the powerful homosexual lobby works all too effectively to sway public opinion, new voices are emerging to proclaim, based on personal experience, that change is possible through the power of Jesus Christ.

Author Anne Paulk does not hesitate to cross the chalk line of the controversy.

“There is no scientific basis for saying that someone is born gay. There are suggestions, and theories that haven't been verified. They're rushing to explain all of this by biological causes so that it can make a difference in the political realm and win the hearts of America. But what I say is men and women are men and women. That's what God designed. He did not design homosexuality -- it was not his intent. That's clear in scripture,” she says.

Paulk is a Christian wife and mother, a popular speaker on homosexual issues, and a board member for Exodus International, a well-known ministry for people struggling to overcome the bondage of the homosexual lifestyle. She is also involved with Focus on the Family’s "Love Won Out" conferences, educational gatherings that focus on addressing, understanding, and preventing homosexuality. Together with her husband John Paulk, she co-authored Love Won Out, a true story of a couple’s restoration from sexual brokenness to abundant life together in Christ. And now she is the author of a new and comprehensive book called Restoring Sexual Identity: Hope for Women Who Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction (Harvest House Publishers, 2003).

Though her faith informs her perspective, some of Anne Paulk’s views may surprise many Christians. For instance, she asserts that homosexuality is not really a sexual issue. “If you look at how it's developed -- childhood sexual abuse, difficulty relating with the parent, especially the same gender parent -- these are human problems. They just so happen to erupt into a struggle with homosexuality. It's a surface issue actually. The deeper issues of the heart are the same in us,” she says.

What qualifies Paulk to speak so authoritatively about homosexuality is this: she is a former lesbian who -- like her husband, a former homosexual -- says she has been completely delivered from same-sex attraction through an encounter with God.

Paulk’s own path toward same-sex attraction began when she was molested at the age of four by an adolescent boy in her neighborhood. She believes that childhood traumas like her own, or other disturbances in the normal developmental process, such as the loss or emotional unavailability of a parent, can produce a predisposition for homosexuality. But Paulk believes it is a condition that can be overcome, through a process of healing and compassionate support.

“We need to win others who are struggling with homosexuality. They need to know that they are accepted as a man or as a woman, not as a homosexual or a heterosexual. They are simply a man or a woman,” she says.

Paulk’s claim is one promoters of the homosexual agenda do not want to hear, but she has the stories of her own and others’ lives to back it up. And now she has distilled the wisdom and information gathered during her own journey to wholeness into a unique resource that will help other strugglers along the same path.

Restoring Sexual Identity begins on a note of hope, sharing a bit of the author’s personal experience and encouraging readers, whether strugglers or support persons in a struggler’s life, to read others’ stories in the book and realize that “you are not alone in the journey.”

The author goes on to describe a variety of composite experiences, from that of the struggler who never acts out but feels unable to escape her same-sex attractions, to the confused Gen-Y young adult bombarded by pro-homosexual messages, to the unfulfilled woman living a homosexual lifestyle but recognizing its futility and desiring change.

Besides stories of others’ journeys and triumphs, the book contains scriptural and psychological insights, and practical information for strugglers and their families, friends, pastors and counselors. Paulk addresses many complex questions: Where does same-sex attraction come from? How do people seeking change establish a support system? What about healing from abuse, overcoming temptation, and forming healthy relationships? What are early signs of gender identity disorder, and how can mothers and fathers help their child develop a healthy gender identity? Paulk also references a number of “ex-gay” ministries, gives suggested reading and resources, and shares results of an informal survey of 265 women who left the homosexual lifestyle.

The survey provides quantitative support for the encouraging themes of the book. Among the revelations of data from Paulk’s eight-page questionnaire were that "Most of the women (85%) were able to transition from a lesbian or bisexual identity to a heterosexual or ex-lesbian identity (81%) in an average of two and one-half years and commonly with the assistance of Exodus International and/or professional therapy" and that "After all, the top reason to pursue change almost unanimously cited was 'relationship with God.'" (RSI, p.256).

These findings undoubtedly resonated with Paulk’s own experience. In telling her story to American Family Radio, she related how God was at work in her life long before she acknowledged the need to change. “I was pursuing the homosexual life as best I could, seeing that as the answer for the deep need for love in my life, the void that was there. And then, it was like a light came down from heaven and whispered in my ear, ‘Um, homosexuality is not the answer. It will not fill that need in your heart.’ And I was angry but I knew it was true,” she says.

But Paulk’s journey, like that of most women overcoming homosexuality, was not without its setbacks and plateaus. The author shares what she and others have learned along the way with a candor and vulnerability that make it possible for most Christians to identify on some level, no matter what sin or brokenness is at the heart of their individual struggle. She points out that identification is a key element in healing: strugglers need to see themselves as not so different from others of their gender, and would-be supporters need to see that the sin of homosexuality is not so different from any other means of seeking affirmation and fulfillment in someone or something other than God.

Ultimately Paulk advises strugglers to identify with God, to ask for help in seeing others through his eyes and responding to sin --ours and theirs -- with his heart.

Paulk describes a breakthrough in her process of change. She had been working on her same-sex attraction issues for a couple of years when she prayed to God to give her a hatred for her sin. “As a result of that prayer, I began to see homosexuality and homosexual relationships in a whole new light. Instead of my typical attraction to women who appeared to be lesbians, I found myself experiencing a new and profound sadness. I didn't feel judgmental, harsh, or angry. Rather, I felt sad. ... I realized by looking at some of the women that they had deeply rejected their own value as women, probably because of painful past experiences. I had eyes that could look beyond the exterior into their hearts." (RSI, p. 231).

Through Restoring Sexual Identity, Paulk helps readers look into their own hearts to find hope, into God’s Word for truth, and into the eyes of others for understanding and encouragement that can lead to change.

Jenni Parker is associate editor of AgapePress.

© 2003 AgapePress all rights reserved.

 

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